Supporting a home educated child is hard work
In this article we will look at how you can support your home educated child without it becoming a cause of overwhelm for the whole family.
Making the decision to support your child’s education at home is a huge decision but at the same time you know in your heart-of-hearts that it is the right decision, especially when your child isn’t fitting into the mainstream educational system for whatever reason: anxiety, neurodiversity, bullying, to name but a few.
Alongside the perceived added workload there is the emotional commitment. Will it work being parent and teacher? Will you be good enough? Can you make this work?
With so many parents deciding that the best option is to support their child at home, there is an increasing amount of support to ensure that you are given every opportunity to make it a success, whether that be for the rest of their years in education or until you are able to find an appropriate school for their needs.
If you'd rather watch the video than read the text, watch here
What Makes Home Education Feel So Overwhelming for Neurodiverse Families?
For some parents the attraction of home-schooling is not having to follow rigid curriculum which hasn’t proven to be appropriate for their child. However, on the hand it may now appear that there is no clear road map or “right way” without one.
It is now left to you to make the decisions of what to teach, how, and when, whilst still balancing their needs with your own wellbeing. Being the parent of a neurodiverse child is demanding. You love them with all of your heart but at times family life just seems to have added an extra layer of anxiety, resistance, and burnout.
Not just theirs, but yours as well.
For some parents the financial consequences of supporting their child may be huge, especially if they need to take on external support to help with some subjects.
However, I have worked with some families who have been able to get support with some of their costs if you are home schooling your child because you can not find a local school that is able to support their needs.
To find out more details, I would speak to the education department at your local council and they will be able to guide you in the right direction. Just be aware that it can take time for the process to work through.
For some parents the attraction of home-schooling is not having to follow rigid curriculum which hasn’t proven to be appropriate for their child.
The Good News is…
There is no such thing as a “perfect” day home-school day or otherwise. There will be days when you think “WOW!” but there will also be days when you are left feeling “wow…”
But remember there is no such thing as progressing too slowly, as my ex-father-in-law used to say: Rome wasn’t built in a day. It is so much better to work slowly and ensure the foundations are solidly in place rather than rushing ahead and then having to knock your confidence and theirs and go back and cover old ground. Progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.
Remember the strengths that you are your child do have, they may not be conventional, but these are what make them special, which make them/you who you are.
Small Steps That Can Make a Big Difference
The thing is we don’t have to do everything today. As long as we do something and even then, that isn’t always essential. We need to take every day as it comes. Use short, flexible routines (especially for those who are ADHD/Autism). End on a high and finish early rather than fighting on to the bitter end when every moment feels like a challenge, because in doing so the challenge to start next time will become so much harder.
Sometimes we just need to take a break and come back to it again with a new approach. Nothing is set in stone especially as a homeschooling parent. You have regained control for you and your child; you can work the time timetable to suit your family.
Give your child choices, to help them to build autonomy. The more control they have, the more ownership they can take and the more empowered they will become. But not only that, it frees you from having to make all the decisions.
Use their interests and their strengths to structure their learning. One of the first lads I ever went to was just meant to be for the summer holidays. They lived a good 45 minutes away from where we were living and I was only charging £10, so it meant I wasn’t actually earning anything.
The first week I turned up, the mum invited me in, and the lad, about 5 years old, sat at the table head down looking like he wanted to cry. I introduced myself and showed him the games I had with me. The mum had mentioned that he liked cars and maps, so I had created a game where you moved around the street and answered the questions as you went.
By the end of the first lesson, he looked quite proud of the stickers he had earned.
When I arrived the following week he came to the door with his mum, though he was sheepishly stood behind her.
By week 3, he was sitting on the doorstep waiting for me.
So many times, the conversation I have with parents is about lacking confidence. I am sure that if we can boost their confidence in one area and incorporate the things that they are interested in, it will trickle into other areas of their lives as well.
Home is supposed to be a safe place for both you and your child. Remember to prioritise emotional safety over ticking boxes. You both need to feel in control and safe. Nothing is more important than your relationship. I worked with a lad a few years back before he sat his GCSEs. He had lost his dad to cancer a few months earlier.
The mum said she would never push him to the extent that it caused an argument or bad feeling between them, their relationship was too important.
This is so true and something I think we all need to remind ourselves of from time to time.
There is a huge home-schooling community these days, so please do connect with others. Many of them are no doubt in a similar situation to you and can empathise exactly with your situation. You don’t have to feel like you’re doing this in a vacuum. Put your hand out and ask others for support and guidance, you will find that most people are only too keen to help.
Community and support changes everything
There is a huge home-schooling community these days, so please do connect with others. Many of them are no doubt in a similar situation to you and can empathise exactly with your situation.
What’s next?
Every parent wants to do their best for their child.
That’s why we created the Clara James Approach: a safe, supportive place for families like yours to not just find maths and English resources and games, but also ideas, encouragement, and genuine support and guidance that actually works in real life.
We’re now also excited to welcome families with secondary-aged children too, because an increasing number of children are looking for support when they progress into the secondary school years.
If you’d like to learn more, click below to discover if we would be a good fit to help you on your journey.
Copywrite: Clara James Tutoring 2025