What Happens When You Keep Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone?

This weekend, I did something that made me uncomfortable.

I spoke to someone about a potential guest-speaking opportunity.

Will anything come of it? I genuinely don't know.

Perhaps it will. Perhaps it won't.

But I put myself forward.

And afterwards, I started thinking about how many of the things that have shaped my life started in exactly the same way.

Not with confidence.

Usually with fear.

It started with a playgroup

Twenty-six years ago, I asked the lady who ran the playgroup Clara attended whether I could volunteer there while studying for my diploma.

I was terrified.

At that point, I certainly didn't have some grand plan to build a career supporting children.

I simply asked a question.

She said yes.

Her name was Mary, and over the years she became one of my closest friends.

I couldn't possibly have known what that one uncomfortable conversation would eventually lead to.

Then came my first tutoring lesson

Fourteen years ago, stepping outside my comfort zone looked very different.

It meant turning up for my first tutoring lesson.

I was terrified.

In fact, I think if I'd been confident enough to telephone the family afterwards and apologise for not turning up, I might have gone home.

Fortunately, I wasn't brave enough to make that phone call either!

So I went in.

And it went well.

One lesson became another.

One family told another family.

Gradually, Clara James Tutoring grew.

Not through one enormous leap of confidence, but through lots of very small ones.

Walking into rooms where I didn't feel I belonged

Around ten or twelve years ago, I went to a business training event by myself.

Everyone seemed to have a more established business than me.

I felt completely out of my depth.

But I stayed.

Years later, I went on a business retreat where I didn't know anybody.

Again, I was terrified.

Again, I went anyway.

I met some incredible people there. The woman who ran that retreat is now my 1:1 mentor.

Had I allowed fear to make that decision for me, we'd never have met.

And that's something I find fascinating when I look backwards.

You rarely know which seemingly insignificant decision is going to change the direction of your life.

Then I decided to write a book

This brought a completely different kind of fear.

I was putting something I'd created — something I'd poured my thoughts, experiences and beliefs into — in front of other people and effectively saying:

"Here you are. Judge it."

That's frightening.

But I did it.

And then I did it again.

I'm now the author of two books, and the feedback I've received has been incredibly kind.

And now the dream has become much bigger

When I originally started Clara James Tutoring, my ambitions were considerably smaller.

Today, I look at where we're heading and occasionally have to remind myself that this is the same person.

We're building the Clara James franchise because I want the approach we've developed over the years to reach children beyond the families we're physically able to support ourselves.

My ambition is for Clara James tutors eventually to support children across the country — and perhaps, one day, much further afield.

I'm also having conversations about establishing a CIC to support children and families locally.

I'm exploring the possibility of working closely with a charity.

And now, apparently, I'm putting myself forward for guest-speaking opportunities too.

Writing that list still feels slightly ridiculous.

Confidence didn't come first

I think this is the important part.

It's very easy to look at somebody doing something and assume they must be confident.

They aren't necessarily.

I certainly wasn't.

I was the person who could walk into a room and feel as though nobody noticed.

I was the person people forgot.

I was once told that I wouldn't complete my degree because I wasn't capable or confident enough.

And yet here I am.

I did complete the degree.

I built the tutoring business.

I've helped hundreds of children.

I wrote the books.

And now I'm building something I hope will eventually allow us to support thousands more.

Not because somebody handed me a huge bucket of confidence along the way.

I kept doing things before I felt ready to do them.

And every time I did, the boundary of what felt possible moved slightly.

Your comfort zone doesn't have to disappear

We're often told to "step outside your comfort zone."

It makes it sound like we should become fearless people who merrily throw ourselves into terrifying situations.

I don't think that's how it works.

Sometimes you step outside your comfort zone while desperately wanting to climb straight back into it.

But then you survive.

Perhaps something good happens.

And that previously terrifying thing becomes a little less terrifying next time.

Your comfort zone hasn't disappeared.

It's simply become bigger.

And then you take another step.

Perhaps becoming a tutor is your next step

If you've found yourself thinking:

"I'd love to become a tutor, but..."

perhaps you don't need to answer every question that comes after the but today.

You don't need to know exactly how you'd find students.

You don't need a library full of resources.

You don't need to know whether you could eventually make a living from it.

And you certainly don't need to feel completely confident.

You might simply need to have your first conversation.

If you'd like to explore becoming part of the Clara James franchise, I'd love to tell you what we're building and find out whether it could be right for you.

And if a franchise isn't what you want, but you'd like some support in starting your own independent tutoring business, we can talk about that too.

There's no expectation that a conversation has to lead anywhere.

Because 26 years ago, I asked somebody if I could volunteer at a playgroup.

I couldn't possibly have seen where that one little question would eventually take me.

Sometimes the first step doesn't need to be enormous.

It just needs to be taken.

If you'd like to have that first conversation, email info@clarajamestutoring.co.uk.

I promise I'll always do my best to help.